Let’s Connect!

A doula provides companionship and concrete support in a transformative moment on a person’s path.

Birth Doulas help people become parents; Death Doulas help dying people and their families transition.

My job as a Gender Doula is to provide companionship and support as you navigate your gender journey.

Learn more and book a free, 30-minute connection call below:

Introductions:

In Gullah there’s a saying: If oonuh ent kno weh oonuh dah gwine, oonuh should kno weh oonuh come f’um. If you don’t know where you’re going, you should know where you come from. 

My name is Noor. I come from the many legacies of Blackness, transness, queerness, lesbianism, and fluidity that permeate history and my family. This is a lineage of beauty, culture, and magic in the face of oppression and struggle. This lineage informs the way i am in the present, and how I look to the future.   

It fortifies me, and allows me to feel connected to who I am in a loving and reverent way. This is not thanks to the mirrors I found in media or mainstream society–”representation” did not save me! I’m able to be soft with myself in a world that is NOT because of people I’ve known in my life–elders, peers, and baby queers– who offered me space and safety to (re)discover parts of me that were buried in white supremacist, cisheteronormative narratives. Narratives that were never meant to include me. The people in my community helped me break those narratives open into new possibilities.

My mother, who bought me Black barbie dolls and picture books with girls rocking natural hair. My first trans friends in college, some of whom saw me more clearly than I could see myself. The many Dolls and Drag queens, kings, and things who showed me how to delve into gender, to relish in it.

Yes. We all steward each other into being. I am a Gender Doula because when I do this work specifically, I feel connected to the future I want for all of us: where we are truly free of fascism and can express and be ourselves. I have had so many opportunities to serve in this role: over a decade of conversations, advocacy, and showing up in community with queer, trans, and gender-expansive people. I’d like to do the same, now, for you.

Because I see you–through all the external and internal struggles–and want to accompany you on your path to becoming. You deserve to feel like you belong and can exist and live and express yourself in this world. I know things are scary right now, and I want you to know that there is a way to be who you are, and to be at peace with that. 

Your “best” self comes forth in the moments where you’re honest and authentic about who you are and what you are doing with this one “wild and precious life” you were gifted. It takes not only courage but skill and wisdom to achieve this. These are things I can share and help you cultivate.

So, how does it work?

You don‘t have to identify in any particular way to work with me. If you are curious, anxious, or stressed about gender and the role it plays in your life, then I would be honored to guide you through this transformative time.

I’ll start by explaining the in-person gender doula package.

By the time we are face-to-face, you’ll have had the opportunity to meet with me online for a free 30-minute connection call. There, I welcome any questions and vetting you need to feel safe and comfortable working together. From there, we can meet in your home, a public place like a cafe or library, at your doctor’s office, or online depending on your needs.

These services are available to anyone living within 1.5 hours by public transit of Leiden Centraal, and include:

  • individualized, empathetic space-holding, confidential conversation related to your gender journey
    • Personal feelings and questions around transition, social pressure, dating and sexuality, politics, community, etc.
  • help with shopping, wardrobe, and self-expression
    • Talking through how you want to look
    • Creating a budget for a wardrobe change
    • Working with what’s in your closet to help you find new looks
    • Going shopping with you
  • logistics support
    • Making a plan to manage appointments, paperwork, organizing friends/neighbors, and other administrative aspects of your transition
  • accompanying you to medical/other appointments
    • Advocate/emotional support
  • pre- & post- appointment support
    • Prepare for your next appointment
    • debrief/process/next steps after an appointment
  • pre- and post- surgery support and care
    • Preparing yourself and your space for surgery
      • Emotional and logistical support
      • Light cleaning, bed making, meal prep
    • Aftercare
      • Tending wounds/maintaining healing process
      • Light cleaning, cooking
      • Organizing friends and neighbors to check-in/help further
  • unlimited text and email between sessions (24 hr response time, not including off-call days)

The fee for in person doula care is 899 euros. That covers 6 x 1.5 hour sessions, over the course of up to 9 months. I offer a 6 month payment plan, which would be 6 x 150 euro installments.

Virtually, I can provide a lot of the same services:

  • individualized, empathetic space-holding
  • confidential conversation
  • tips on wardrobe and self-expression
  • pre- & post- medical/other appointment support
  • administrative support
  • unlimited text and email between sessions (24 hr response time)

Regardless of where you live, you can opt for virtual care. 

The fee for virtual doula care is 444 euros. That covers 6 x 1.5 hour sessions, over the course of up to 9 months. I offer a 6 month payment plan, which would be 6 x 74 euro installments.

Conclusion

I hope by now you have a concrete understanding of what it is I do, why I feel called to this work, and what my offerings are. When you’re ready to take the next step in your gender journey together, book a free, 30-minute connection call with me.